After my last post was basically the "stages of chemical love", I decided to go in the opposite direction for this post, the stages of emotional love. Now, when I googled "emotional stages in love" I got a bunch of magazine links with cute, flirty headlines and quizzes to find out "DOES HE REALLY LOVE YOU?" So it took some digging. After reading around and reading over my last post, I decided to narrow it down to the stages with men, and the stages with women, and I wanted to compare and contrast them. This is what I came up with for this post;
The Stages of Falling In Love: Men (left) Vs. Women (right)
But, on the other hand, being a woman and having fallen in love once, I can say that I do agree with it for the most part. Since its been a while since I've been in "love", I don't remember the exact feelings and the time frame to match it, but I vaguely remember it resembling something like the stages of the women falling in love. I'm curious to see if the men's viewpoints are similar to a man falling in love. But, assuming that the same women in my class will comment on my post again, I probably won't get a man's take on this. Anyhow, this post really made me think about how we are brought up around "love." What did your parents teach you as an individual about love? How is it similar and different throughout cities, states, countries, and cultures? Until next week...
Jillian,
ReplyDeleteNice contrast to your blog. By going back and forth between the two sides you've presented a non-biased stance. Also, you've added depth and curiosity to what love is; I like that you have done this. You still haven't picked a side but it makes your blog better and stronger. Awesome! After looking over the information about the differences between men and women in love, I agree but disagree. As a woman who is in love, I experienced everything in a delayed manner. Yes, I was excited to be around my boyfriend, yes, I wanted to know everything about him, but when we reached stage four, according to your chart, that was when it all clicked for me. Intimacy is an obstacle you cross together whether it be emotionally, sexually, etc.
Yes, I am emotional about my boyfriend, but what woman isn't? It really isn't fair either. I also disagree with how men love, yet again every man is different in his own right. I don't mean to keep talking about my relationship, but my boyfriend is very sensitive for a guy. He's emotional; I have seen and felt this from him. I wanted to see more about how men love; it would clarify and stand up to the female aspect. Being a lover of men in general, I wanted to see what else in terms of love is different for them. I thought there could have been more for the men's side. It's true the sexes are different on all levels of the spectrum, but how different? Do hormones or basic anatomy define what is man and what is woman? You had a strong post for this one!
Madison
Hi Jillian - Another fascinating post. I do think you have some good points here, but I am disappointed in the male/female binary of the post. Same sex attractions are a thing, and I would point out there are transgender people and non-binary people that also experience love. As a gay man in a committed, monogamous, long lasting marriage (19 years next spring) I can say that there is something to the subject of love on our side too! ;) I also found the chart about stages of falling in love to be a tad off, but that is likely more my personal background more than the chart being inaccurate. I would ask you, do you feel that men and women truly experience love and the stages of it so differently, or is it the societal pressures to act in such ways? I was raised an only child by a single mom, and I can attest to her ideals being a lot more present than the overly masculine ideals. I suppose that the get down to it question for me would be: Is love nature or nurture? Great post and I have enjoyed your blog quite a bit.
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ReplyDelete(Oops commented with the wrong account hehe) Hey Jillian, I like how you tried to look at love from both male and female experiences but I feel you could have added a little more about men. You add a lot of personal opinion, which is great, but your posts could use a little more information in them as well. As for myself, I've learned from past experiences that I never fall in love the same way and it's always different. Sometimes, I fall in love all at once, other times it's very gradual. I may get "butterflies" all the time or hardly ever but that doesn't determine how much I love the one I'm with. As I've said before, love is truly unpredictable in my opinion.
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